chapter 2 of

Telemarketers:Scum of the Land Lines

CHAPTER 2
Bob the tomato

Bob was an average talking tomato. He had done nothing wrong....in fact, he did it so well that was hired into the cast of the so called animated show, Veggietales. But little did the innocent audience know that Veggietales was in fact a way that members of terrorist groups communicated. Stuck between the pixelized fruits, highly rendered by special FX effects crews, was messages in binary code. When Bob found out, he immediately started a rebel group, fighting against the evil of the clutches of bald cucumbers. The war was ended fast, Bob barely making it out of the building with a slightly charred body. His body burned with the agony of the immense pain as he hobbled out of the blazing building. Larry, once his best friend, was burnt beyond recognition, deep fried in his massacre against evil. He would have never suspected that green striped sausage to be a terrorist. Walking out of the twisted wreck of the wrung metal, he headed towards his home. His faced turned from red to green. Before him laid a pile of skin and pulp. Everything of his was gone. His wife was seeded, his children turned inside out. Someone obviously had been through his house. A onslaught had occurred to avenge the brutal death of that cucumber. Someone had inside information. One of his rebels was a double agent. He was on the side of Larry all along. His face, filled with rage, screamed an angry blood curdling scream! He wanted revenge, and he wanted it now. Setting of with 500 peanuts, he stormed out of the building, with a vengeance in his heart.

Chapter 2 of

Telemarketers:Scum of the Land Lines

CHAPTER 1
500

500. 500 is a number of significance. 500 could refer to the number of people in the computer club that thought the prince of tennis was about bowling. 500 could be the exact number of crumbs in a average cookie.500 could be the number of times you break an average cookie only to find out that there isnt really 500 crumbs in it. 500 could be the number of people in millions that say "Justin Rocks" unlike the other 500 billion who add a not to the end. 500 is the number of people Uncle Darren wants in the youth group. But most importantly, 500 is the number of chapters this miserable novel has. 500 is the number of days you will spend reading the book. 500 is the number of times i lied about having the number of chapters going to be 500. It actually varies depending on my mood. But I promise you....500 is the number. 500 is the day Bob, an average tomato starts his long journey into the distant land of unknown dangers...

NEW STORY ON MARKET

Telemarketers:Scum of the Land Lines

Twice the corniness!
Twice the suspense!
Twice the number of pink golf balls!
Twice the sentences that read, JUSTIN OWNS THE WORLD AND ROCKS LIKE MAD!!!
Oh yeah. Twice the randomness....still not a lot but elephant.

Bob was a innocent little apple. Till one day...he dared to venture outta the printer he was kept in...

Coming to all good blogs in 2008

Extract of Telemarketers:Scum of the Land Lines:

CHAPTER 4

As Bob ventured to the unexplored darkness of the light-beam from a random torchlight that popped out of nowhere, he spotted something. At the corner of his eye was a egg!!! Taking out his lightsaber, in a swift movement, he chopped a nearby pen, squirting ink all over the egg. The egg screamed in pain, his twisted expression filled with anger. But suddenly, out popped a cow! Using its worn out horns, it charged at Bob! Taken by surprise, Bob got rammed into Sherlock Holmes, who immediately started singing! The cow missed Bob the second round of his attempts to strike Sam, impaled the webcam and got reduced to a pile of smoking ashes. Soon our dear friend Sherlock had his curse broken and withered into a mass of brown wreck. Gasping for his breath, Sherlock uttered his last words. "Bob. Thank you..."

Sherlock died a peaceful death that sad day. With a grim face, Bob buried him in a factory. Waving goodbye, Bob ventured into the fake plastic sunset where this scene ends...